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How to tell if your marriage or your relationship is in trouble

Life is not always a bed of roses and neither are relationships. No relationship is immune to problems. Life happens and we can all go through ups and down and challenging times. However, there are often signs, that we may overlook, or avoid, that indicate there is a need for help. Read the following questions and ask yourself honestly how many apply to your relationship. If you find they speak to you, it may be time to seek help from a trained professional.
  1. It seems you never talk about your problems, or the things that really matter.
  2. You talk all the time about problems or things that matter, almost to the point of exhaustion, but it seems nothing ever really changes.
  3. You can't say honestly, even to yourself, that you truly trust your partner, or they trust you.
  4. You have the sense that you are always walking on egg shells around each other and your issues.
  5. You find that you and your partner bicker and argue about everything, big things and small, but nothing ever gets resolved.
  6. You find that you are living more like roommates than lovers, or you find yourself wishing you had a better friendship with your partner.
  7. Either you or your partner are always keeping score—who does the most, who does the least, "why am I the one who always does...(fill in the blanks)"
  8. You feel there is sexual incompatibility and either one or both of you never really feel's satisfied sexually.
  9. More and more of your time or your spouse's time is spent doing things related to the kids, friends, work, the internet—almost anything but spending routine enjoyable time together. You feel you never have time for one another.
  10. Frequently, you feel misunderstood or unappreciated by your partner.
  11. You find that there is outside interference from extended family members that gets in the way of your feeling that you can truly trust, count on or connect to one another.
  12. You wonder if it is time to throw in the towel or you find yourself fantasizing about how much better than yours other's relationships are.
  13. As parents you find that you have significant differences about how to parent or discipline children.
  14. One of you has had an affair.
If you relate to one or more of these behaviors, consider contacting me to learn how I can help you.
Copyright 2023 Rene Lewellyn, MFT

No photographs of actual clients are represented.